masterblaster:

theeasyvirtue:

masterblaster:

We ordered lube and rubbers online and because we spent more than $20 they sent us a free (too-big-to-use) dildo. So…

to big to use….?

You know, I’m glad you asked, because it allows me to print a correction.
I originally said it was too big to use, but yesterday I learned an important lesson about determination and believing in yourself.

masterblaster:

theeasyvirtue:

masterblaster:

We ordered lube and rubbers online and because we spent more than $20 they sent us a free (too-big-to-use) dildo. So…

to big to use….?

You know, I’m glad you asked, because it allows me to print a correction.

I originally said it was too big to use, but yesterday I learned an important lesson about determination and believing in yourself.

(via nopantsfunday)

Given the opportunity, I would drop everything now and move to New York City.

monotonize:

I wish life was more like the Kim Kardashian app because I want money to appear at my feet every time I socialize successfully.

(via monotonize)

baby: d... d... d...
father: ...dad? omg you are going to say dad as your first word!!!
baby: d... dONT WANNA BE AN AMERICAN IDIOT
baby: *guitar sounds from baby's mouth*

buck-barnes:

i wish there was a non-assholeish way to say “our friendship has run its course, you make me uncomfortable with your feelings and a lot of shit you do pisses me off bye”

(Source: winter-soldier, via would-you-hold-me)